Going Solo

I like eating out alone. I am not a misanthrope. I am all for loving Humankind and prefer going out with family and friends. But I see no reason why you should deprive yourself of a good meal because people in your life are busy at work, weight watching or not inclined. And sometimes its just an impulse decision which cannot wait for the weekend. Needless to say I am not making a feminist statement. Its just a case of 'Hungry Kya?'

The sight of a woman eating solo in not a common one at all. In all my visits (and there have been numerous) I have only on one occasion spotted a female luncher, and for some reason she looked so miserable, that it nearly took my appetite away. In fact, I have seen more women hanging out alone in pubs than eating out.

I thank my stars, I stay in Bangalore where people mostly leave you alone to your meals. I would for all my sense of adventure avoid attempting this in Delhi. Delhi is a lovely place, I have grown up there and have family (roots as they say and shoots also lets add) but we Punjabi's don't like 'ladeez from respectable families eating alone.' After all 'Ghar par Papaji, Uncleji, Husbandji nahin hai kya?”

Now eating out alone presents some unique challenges. If you are eating in a fancy place, the first obstacle is announcing to the maître d’ restaurant, “I am eating alone so seat me accordingly.” In one case, as soon as I told him place for one (I was trying to circumvent explaining I am eating alone), I was asked,” How many of you are there?” So I told him 'One of me, so I will sit on one seat and you can give me a table for two.' Light dawned and he smiled genially and asked me – 'Oh so you will eat the full meal alone?' I did not know people eat some parts of their meals alone! I guess he was being conversational. Then he proceeded to seat me on a huge table for four in the center of the restaurant where everyone walking in could see what I was eating. I actually felt like a lab specimen – Exhibit 1a. – Woman eating lunch alone. I think he totally did not understand that the idea of having a meal to yourself is some 'me time' where you can catch up on reading or contemplate on the mysteries of life. Sitting in the centre of the restaurant with all the 'families' and 'couplez' surrounding you might be good for the restaurant but is certainly not good for you.

Here places like Cuppa, Mocha and Cafe Coffee Day come to the rescue. The food is not gourmet and I am being charitable here, but the ambiance is mostly college kids or office people taking a break so no one cares about the formalities of seating you or figuring out how many of you are there. But sometimes these young people hangouts tend to have a space crunch. So one day, I ended up sharing a table with three college going kids. One of whom had an array of intimidating tattoos – dragoons and demons and what not's. She seemed to be going through a painful period in life and in a loud booming voice was shouting out the details. I spent a painful 30 minutes while she boomed on about the A@#$%^& who dumped her. And how she would s$%^& his life. Her other pals meanwhile, made sympathetic noises and played games on their phones. So I was like captive audience to this sad story. While I was getting ready to shed some sympathetic tears, kid with tattoo had already moved on in life and was cheerfully playing games on her phone – Cheers to the 21^st century 'Bhartiya Nari' who carries no emotional baggage beyond 1 hour. You will go places girl.

On another occasion, I was witness to a full blown fight between two kids who looked 15. Scene 1 Girl gives guy an earful about 'His lack of commitment to the relationship.' The guy meanwhile nods and gazes at pics on his laptop. Both of them have 'matching' sun glasses given the solemnity of the occasion. Scene 2 Boy shuts laptop and accuses the girl of being 'Demanding.' Scene 3 Girl walks out. Scene 4 Phew! I decide to walk out too. Me of course being a mere extra in the proceedings. Scene 5 I pay and girl walks in again, takes another seat and starts surfing on her (identical, but of course) laptop.

It was all like a Bollywood movie. The only thing missing was maybe Eminen playing in the background.

“Going Solo Solo Solo
dont need you anymore
Ill manage thank you
without you making me look like a fool
I wanna go Solo Solo Solo.... Solo”

Who says eating out alone can get boring, tiring or lonely!

Homework I command thee be done

The title is not original:) Its stolen from Calvin. But those are my exact thoughts as I deal with my son's homework. Homework has changed over the years. From a straightforward read a lesson and write the answers or solve Math sums, it has moved to more creative forms. So son has to identify words and write them in weird, tiny cloud shaped boxes. There is never enough space to fill in the words and he finds it totally dumb. Another 'fun and imaginative' homework is writing words with different colored crayons, sometimes it also gets 'funner' (in son's vocabulary) where you get to write words with rainbow colors - so basically you can't rub what is once written and given an average six year old rubs each word at least three times, you can imagine what I am dealing with here. My favorite is match the correct answer. Last week he had to match like 30 things on one tiny page. Needless to say he needed 'no help' and refused to use a scale to do the joining. So once he was done the page looked like a google map. (I know they are useful. But I can't read maps. I rely on the goodwill of mankind to take me to places.)
Anyway son in his infinite wisdom has figured it out," Its homework Mummy. Its not supposed to be fun or anything. For that we have to do other things like play and all."