You got the smarts

Well it is exam time. And I knew things were not going to be smooth sailing when on the first day of his study leave son declares, " You have wasted half my day in making me study." Considering it was 12 a.m and he had been up since 6.30 a.m. it was half a day indeed and what a day!

2 break fast breaks, 2 snack breaks one toilet paper rolled all over the house and one green clay looking suspiciously fungusy(eeks) all over his room disaster and just half a day. And of course we managed some 20 minute of studying in between all the excitement.

Anyway, in my new age parenting wisdom I decided to have a free and frank talk with him. Here it is verbatim with no artistic licenses, just some grammar changes.

Me: I think it is time you improved your handwriting.

Son: No need. I am anyway smarter than the teacher. Also now she is able to understand what I am written.

Me: Maybe she has given up and does not care. But do it for yourself.

Son: No need. All the teachers finally start understanding my handwriting. Anyway its your fault, you gave me birth.

Me: Well, that is pushing it a bit too far. I did give you birth but I did not insist you write untidily.

Son: No its a DNA defect you did. You made me smarter than all the other kids with bad handwriting.

Me: How do you know you are smarter than other kids?

Son: I know stuff they don't. For instance they don't know that there are people smarter than Einstein and the name of the first submarine.

Me: I am sure many kids know that. Have you come up with something original?

Son: Yeah I invented a new type of snack. I actually made holes in a Khakhra (a Gujarati snack for the uninitiated) and added cashew nuts to it. So I have invented a new snack.

While I sat thinking of this significant achievement which my engineered DNA defect had led to, son decided to get the last word in." Do you think you need to be boring to get things done?" While I sat wondering where did that come from he tells me, "I was reading one of your books, 'Steal like an artist' (he reads some of the books I do, especially graphic novels) and it says you need to be boring to get things done. But Mummy, I don't think its right. I get so much done and I am not boring." :)

Gaga over Yoga:)

Dear Yoga,

How do I love thee,
let me count the ways...

You give me a high which white wine & dark chocolate cannot match,
All while I am working out and there is really no catch.
Catch = (weight, clogged arteries, new scientific research..)

The stretches make me realize how unused the muscles and joints are,
Alas! the long road to a 'healthy' body is indeed far.

The word 'Breathe' takes on a new meaning in life,
Yes, we do forget to inhale and exhale in the everyday strife.

The warrior pose, the tree pose, the cat and the cobra,
Last night, son wanted to know if Yoga has a zebra (Not heard of one though).

The joy of the sun salutation, the rays of the sun falling on my face,
The feeling of strength, the agility, the grace...

Mind, body and breathe,
For Yoga that is all you need..

I gave up writing verse at eight,
To start again at 35 is a little late,
But Yoga you make me lithe and happy,
So you deserve a verse fun and snappy:)

Gender Bender

Son walked in from school last week and told me a very interesting story. His school has started gender sensitization for students. They had a play a few days ago where they showed a girl being bullied by a boy. Instead of crying, the girl asserted herself and stood up to the bullying. The principal of his school ended the session with a 'Respect girls' talk. Bravo.

Now post these sessions it seems the number of pitched battles in my son's class have exponentially gone up. (The teacher must be on deep breathing exercises and Saridon). Earlier it was limited to a few random kids hitting each other. Now a lot of girls have joined the fray leading to a lot of bruises. A few days ago son came back with a huge bruise and told me "Reena punched me and told me that I should  respect her. I told her how can I respect you if you hit me. I punched her back and she came with the girls team. We fought bravely though my pal Ashwin was badly hit and started crying."

I decided it was time for me to step in as the parent and give him some gyaan on respect and equality. So I told him," You can't assume girls to be the weaker gender. You need to stop hitting them assuming there is going to be no retaliation." Son with his infinite wisdom tells me , "Oh girls are not to be fought with. They wail so loudly and lengthily that the teacher immediately grounds all the boys from games period if we fight with even one of them. Plus usually other girls also join in to lend their support and twice principal sir grounded all the boys post a fight."
More (vocal) power to the girls I say:)